4/20/2018 0 Comments Being CompliantI had a phone call with a recruiter at GTB which is an avertisng agency. This was something that was way different than the other types of financial firms I had been applying to. I had excitement for this phone call that I had not had in a while.
It ended up being kind of a weird call because she had to hang up 10 minutes into the call to attend an 'urgent' company wide meeting. That seemed so unprofessional. I was speechless. Anyways, she called me back about an hour later and I found out that the job was in Dearborn, MI and I would have to work overtime for half the year working as a financial analyst. I realized I kept hitting home all the negatives of the company. The CEO is from Mumbai, India and he pursued a degree in chemical engineering but decided to swerve his career into the advertising industry. I find that risk he took very inspiring and the mere act that he is leading the company in the HQ in Dearborn is a good sign of a leader. However, me being an analytical person that I am kept seeing all the disadvantages of this position as opposed to the advantages for opportunity within the role. I spoke to my dad after about my career search. I respect him a lot and look up to him as one of my most important role models, but I sometimes think that he is very old-school and traditional in his thinking. He told me harsh words thatI didn’t want to hear. I need to stop overweighing the cons of a job and look at the pros of a company that would be willing to pay me. I am trying to take this advice with a grain of salt though. He said that I need to put my head down, pay my dues, be compliant and do the work that nobody else wants to do in order to ultimately earn their respect. My VOJ is just screaming about why the HELL would I want to do work that nobody else wants to do. Yes, my whole life I have been a compliant daughter and done as my parents wanted of me since they created me and pay for my existence still. I am sick of being indebted to them though. I have always being challenge driven and tricked myself into doing things the hardest way to prove I can do it even though results never help my ego. For instance I studied for many more days for an exam I had on Wednesday, asked my friends for help, went to my professors office for help; yet, I saw my exam score posted yesterday and got he worst exam score I had gotten this whole year (19/30 questions). I felt the extra time I put in studying just tripped me up and made me more anxious. I immediately started bawling and realized that I have never done “well” on any of my finance exams. It just doesn’t come easy to me and is not at all a strength. Why would I want to pursue a career at something that I am not “good” at. I spoke to my brother after and he tried to console me but just kept saying it’s just one exam and that the real world won’t have exams like that. He doesn’t realize that it’s a reoccurring theme of currently having to set the bar lower for myself to achieve in school. I’m sick of it. His way of consoling me is saying that “I’m fine” and blow everything out of the water dramatically, but I know I’m not fine. Anyways, Professor Friedman told the story of his father passing and how he peacefully fell asleep for eternity and spoke his final words that he had prepared for the life that he was proud of living. I want to do this but I do not know how to. I am sick of being compliant, but that is all I know. I don’t want to be disrespectful, but I fear that by not doing what others want of me than I am doing something for myself but what if I regret that and end up not pleasing myself or others. I don’t want a lose-lose situation. At least being compliant means the other person is happy.
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AuthorI am a senior business student at Miami University. Here are some of my random thoughts CategoriesArchives
May 2018
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